Best quotes of Sheldon Cooper – The Big Bang Theory Season 5 !

It’s been a while since we posted anything about our beloved Sheldon Cooper so we though it was about time to put a rest to our agitation about the same. You can check out the best quotes of Sheldon Cooper from the first four seasons here.

Even though Sheldon Cooper i.e. Jim Parsons character in the Big Bang Theory didn’t have as many punches or rib tickling scenes as there were in the previous seasons but they still are good enough. Here are the few good ones we came across in season 5 of the Big Bang Theory.

  1. Penny could have been inspecting Raj’s anal region for parasites. Oh boy, that’s a true blue friend.
  2. Leonard, is it awkward for you knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse with the woman you used to love, in the very place you lay your head?
  3. For the record, I do have genitals. They’re functional and aesthetically pleasing.
  4. From here on in I’ve decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best: enlighten and amaze.
  5. At this moment our relationship exists in two mutually contradictory states. ‘Til you either do not go, or go, to Wil Wheaton’s party, you are simultaneously my friend and not my friend. I’m characterizing this phenomenon as Schrodinger’s Friendship.
  6. One day a historian is going to come to you and say “Is it true you were friends with Doctor Sheldon Cooper?” and you’re going to have to choke back a hot sob of regret and humiliation, as you mumble “I was, but I chose to go to a party thrown by the one kid from Stand By Me no one remembers.”
  7. Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned.
  8. Leonard: Come on, Sheldon. It will be fun.
    Sheldon: That’s what you said about the Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong
  9. You are in for a treat. My mother’s fried chicken is why we had to buy my Dad the extra-large coffin.
  10. Howard: No … about my job. I want you to tell me I’m good at what I do.
    Sheldon: You’re obviously good at what you do.
    Howard: Well, then why are you always ripping on me?
    Sheldon: Oh, I understand the confusion. I have never said that you are not good at what you do, it’s just that what you do is not worth doing
  11. It’s called ornithophobia, and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and then the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets.
  12. Am I okay? Leonard, I’m on a lifelong trajectory that includes a Nobel prize and cities named after me. All four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction, and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule.
  13. Leonard: We’re always the good guys. In D&D, we’re lawful good. In City of Heroes, we’re the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.
    Sheldon: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research
  14. Oh, I see why you’re confused. No, her news sounded important, but what you’re forgetting is it was an achievement in the field of biology. That’s all about yucky, squishy things
  15. Penny: I use to cut my brother’s hair. I could do it for you
    Sheldon: I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but here in town we don’t churn our own butter, we don’t make dresses from gunny sacks, and sure-as-shootin don’t get our hair cut by bottle blon.
  16. I’ll tell you exactly how he did. Readiness – unsatisfactory. Follows direction – barely. Attitude – a little too much. Overall, not only will he probably die in a fiery inferno, his incessant whining would almost certainly spoil everyone else’s day
  17. My apologies. I would have been here sooner, but my bus kept stopping to let other people on it.
  18. Sheldon: If you’re interested I can send you a link to a YouTube video that would show you how to perform your own rectal exam. Helpful hint: trim your nails first.
  19. As you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise. With that in mind I propose the following: I will take Rothman’s office and you will find a way to be okay with that.
  20. I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day. But for all my efforts –like the dinner schedule, the pajama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet — it’s clear now, I’m wasting my time
  21. Amy: Oh … are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
    Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence
  22. Sheldon: Wine and a girl in the dark … he’s going to be bored out of his mind

Surprisingly and it certainly is a surprise for us as well, in the 24 episode long Season 5 these were the only ones from Sheldon that we found worth sharing! Did we miss on any? Which one is your favorite? Do let us know in the comment section below.

2 thoughts on “Best quotes of Sheldon Cooper – The Big Bang Theory Season 5 !

  1. Parker Vanhoesen says:

    Nice collection! Some of them are worth to try.
    Thanks for sharing!

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